My dad passed away in April of 1999 in Cambodia. I remember our last remaining days together where I often called him every afternoon and we would talk for a few minutes about life and our daily updates. It was also the time where he wanted me to show the new rubber shoes I bought for him and how he has so happy and how it fitted him well. The news of my dad's death came to me when I was on a motorbike on my way back home. When my mom told me that he's gone. I jumped from the bike and ran on the streets towards home crying so loud that all of our closest friends were already in our house and have heard of my wails and came immediately to comfort me on the streets. I was a total wrecked during the days of the wake but one has to be strong as well as we needed to bring dad's body back to the Philippines, where the rest of the family awaits for us.
My dad.. A very loving, caring, supportive father for us all.. always there for us in times of troubles and happiness. Never ceased to continue showing his love for us. Never ceased to provide us guidance about growing up, about the world out there, about love, and all other things that we need to prepare ourselves in the outside world. He made sure that even minor problems are shared, as he often says.. " it is better that you express your fears and problems and ask for guidance than doing it all alone until you were not aware that your fear has turned you into something else and for a problem not to get worsen"..
I have grown to confide in him my thoughts and problems as he often would lend me his shoulder to cry on and comforted me with his loving words.. He was my strength during the times I was weak. There were so many instances as well that we would also fight a lot cos I can be so stubborn at times. I tend to break his rules most often but he was there guiding me more. He taught me to be conscious of security and my safety that being his eldest child and his only girl and he being an officer in the military -- taught me great things that I was able to apply in my daily life. I can go on and on writing about his greatness that I often find myself ideally wishing and hoping that my sons will be like him when they grow up.
What I miss most of not having a father now..
To cry on when I feel so alone, empty and telling him about my fears.. A comfort when I needed someone to just appreciate me for what I am and what I am not.. celebrate with during triumphs.. a smile and nod for reassurance that what I am doing is right.. advice and guidance on certain things that I find to be a continous challenge in life, love, marriage and raising children...hope and strength in times of losing something that you believed in.. a hot warm meal specially made for you.. coming home where he is there waiting for you even it was in the wee hours of night..
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