5 years ago, our youngest son was delivered in Bangkok, Thailand. Conceiving our youngest son was a big surprise to us all as we were informed that I would have minimal chances of getting pregnant as I was diagnosed to have an ovarian cyst. We basically lost our hope that we will be given another child. We concentrated all our attention and love to Patrick, our first born son.
JC was born at 8am on a C-section delivery in Samitevej Hospital. He had a perfect apgar score for a week early delivered baby. I remembered so well his first cry when he was pulled out from my tummy as I was half awake during that time. It was such a good, loud cry! He was immediately laid on my chest to create the first bonding experience of a mother and a child. He was such a beautiful baby! I was the happiest mother of all on that day! Patrick on the other hand, came to see me in my hospital bed and whispered to my ears and thanked me for bringing me a baby brother which he had secretly prayed to God and asked Santa a year ago as one of his christmas wish.. and yes, that year, his christmas wish & prayer was granted. My husband told me that when JC was shown to him and Pat outside the operating room, they both were in tears of joy.
After 24 hours of his delivery, I requested the hospital to bring him in my room so I can already start the bonding time with him even I was still in pain and recovering from my operation and after 2 days of my recuperation, he was already sleeping with me so I can basically take care of him.. not caring at all of the pains that I was still going through. All I felt was the happiness being with my son and a new mother.
He was just 2 weeks old when he had his first flight, bringing him back to Cambodia. Everyone was so delighted to see him. He was such a lovely baby boy! It was also the time, when the biggest tsunami hit off several countries and the worst hit was Indonesia. Through out his first four months, I basically took care of him 24/7 and not requested to have a nanny. I wanted to have that bond with him since we have waited so long for his coming to this world. He was such a great baby --more so to say that he was the same as his older brother when Patrick was a baby too. We were so blessed!
That happiness of being with him for four wonderful months had to end, as I had to go back to work and was requested to be deployed to Indonesia. It was so hard to leave him and my family but it was my calling. A few months after, I could not bear anymore to be away from him,so Patrick, JC and my husband Edward joined me. in Indonesia But still, they had to stay an hour flight from the place I was posted as the situation in which I was in was difficult. Still, the distance did not kept me from not being with them. For that span of four years, JC grew up tagging along with me, in any chance that I can bring him with me. He got used to flying and spending time with me. Observing through his personality growing up, I would say that he is so friendly, charming and sweet. Almost everyone that he meets, they get easily charmed by JC. Along the streets that we walked through, or places that we visit, security guards, etc-- whenever we passed by-- he would just say " Hi and would wave his hand" and then he would get the same reply and would say to him " How are you JC?" -- I am just amazed, at an early age - he was able to reach out to people and have this " special touch". Even when he was not with me anymore, I would often asked about the whereabouts of JC and etc.
There are also many instances, that I have noticed his strong like in art. Whenever he sees me painting, he would often asked to paint with me ( and we would often do so) and he is so sensitive with peoples feelings and a keen observer. One time, we passed by a place and there was this nice painting and he said.. " Look Mom, that is a nice painting-- you like it?" or sometimes he would just say, " Mom why is that person sad? is he okay?". At the age of three to four, he has grown to loved cars and all sorts of vehicles. He has this huge collection of hot wheel cars which he could play for hours and hours and mimicking a parking lot or run through trails of roads. I have to mention as well his love for books. He is often my companion in my visits to bookstores and whenever we enter the bookshop, he knows already where his place is and we go on our seperate ways. There are a few bookshops that we often visit so he is pretty familiar where he would go and a few minutes, I would find him engrossed in one corner, with piles of children books-- and starting to tell me to read to him or buy it off. At night, he could not go to sleep without me reading a book for him. Whenever I am away from him, I had to often read him a book through a phone call. So you can imagine that we would often have some books with two copies. One with him, so his dad or his nanny can show to him while me having another copy on the other side of the world. Theres also this thing that he is so particular with being so organized and clean. Whenever he sees trash or a wrapper he would use ( tissues, candy wrappers or whatever) he would not leave it lying somewhere, but would find a trash bin or can to throw it. He arranges things that he thinks that is not parallel or not properly laid down ( is he showing at an early age of becoming to be an OC?). He has this routine of not going to sleep without burshing his teeth and would remind us if we happen to forget whenever we are pre-occupied with something at night. Before eating or when his hand is dirty, hand washing is already a part of what he would do next. He had this great sense of humour that would crack us all up.
On flights, he is so conscious of safety procedures. Everytime we hopped on a plane, the first thing he would do is to take out the emergency landing procedure oout of the pocket of the seat and read through and would tell me or his dad ( explaining what to do in case of emergency). Sometimes I feel that he must have gotten this from me.. hahaha! or sometimes, I couldnt helped but think that his calling could be either in transportion world or like me. Anyway, I leave it up to him when he grows up on what he would want to do. All we ( me and his dad) can do is to guide him through to be a good person and have good and right decision with his life. All I ever wish and hope for is for my boys to be able to survive in our fast pace world and stood strong with their decisions and principles in life,be independent in a good way and God fearing and loving persons.
Midst of all the precious moments I have spent with JC and Pat, theres never enough time for me. I am always never there to see each step and each day that they take in their growing years. I envy all the mothers who have so much time to give to their children that how I wish that I am like them. There are so many times, that I would cry at night that I am not there everytime or think about them but I know all this sacrfices I am doing is for them.. for their future and I hope in my heart that they understand. I may not be the best mother of all as I have my shortcomings but I believed in my heart, that my love for JC and Patrick knows no bounds. It is a difficult choice and a big sacrifice for a mother to be away from her beloved children. But I am just so thankful and blessed to be given with two wonderful sons.
Tomorrow is JC's 5th birthday, and this will be the first that I will not be with him. My heart is heavy but I know he will be happy spending it with his older brother -Pat and his dad.
To JC : This blog is for you bam. I know that you only read this when you are old enough, but I want you to know that even mommy is not there on your 5th birthday, my thoughts, my prayers and love will be with you. How I wish I am there celebrating your birthday as I know you have been telling me how you wanted to be five or six --so you can be older and soon you can give me a violet house and a violet car.. that is the sweetest thing hon.. Mommy loves you so much! Have fun on your birthday!
