FOR TWO WEEKS ONLY

I was blessed to be given the chance to be in the Philippines for two weeks work and assist my office in the emergency response for the typhoon affected areas. It was such an eye opener for me. It has been years since I last worked in my own country and I had so many mixed feelings.

I arrived in Manila on a friday, with a storm signal no. 3! Did I brought the typhoon with me? I hope not.. I visited several areas within NCR , South and North. My heart bled for my fellow Filipinos who were affected with the disaster and their frustations as well. I wanted to write more about the internal struggle and challenges they all faced but I decided not to since this will cause too much issues.. Let me then just described the strong resiliency of my fellow Filipinos-- even how much they are suffering from losing their house, property or even loved ones. Yet, they still manage to smile.

On the other side of the story, I have come into terms with myself over the time I was there. So many things happened and unforgetable experience that will be kept in my memory. It was a time I guess where I could agree with the saying " When God closes one door, he somehow opens a window". I have meet wonderful people over the time I was there and even became my new found friends. Most of them have come from different age group ( mostly younger than me) which somehow made me feel young again! I have learned a lot from them- the life that they lead, their ideology in life and much more.

I have spent time as well with my old college friends ( plus their husbands & boyfriends) and as usual, we always had to reminisce the old times--where we are still 20lbs lighter! We never had a moment of silence. Then goes another set of friends whom I have been close over the years. Basically, there was never a day or night that I was surrounded with friends--old and new. They have somehow became my support during those days that I was somehow hiding sadness in my heart. -- and Ill say " Thank you so much"! Things would have been so different without you..without me meeting you.. YOu made it all so easy for me :)

The finale of my two weeks stay was the time spent with my son, Patrick. We both had the chance to have the mother and son bonding. I have learned new things from him. He has changed from my " little boy" to " a growing man". I am so proud of what he is becoming to be. He has the sweetness, sense of humour and charm that you cant resist. He has the wit and creativity that was taken from his father. We spent most of our time, walking around and talking over coffee at Starbucks or in the wee hours of the night when we are about to sleep.. our conversation flowed about his plans, his school, friends, feelings, love.. anything under the sun..as if we are just best of friends until such time that our eyes were closed. I miss him so much, and I wish that I will be able to have more time spent with him in the coming months.

To sum it all, it was a great two weeks where it has indeed opened my eyes with so much reality in life, learned a lot from it and memories to cherish for a lifetime.

Till I see you all again..

Christmas--SOON

I woke up today having a strange dream that kept me sitting in my balcony until such time that I have to hurry doing my morning routines as I am running late for work. While I was having my morning thoughts and ponder, I felt the cool breeze of October and I realised that a month more, it will be December and its going to be Christmas!

Christmas! How I love this time of the year. The cool breeze, the distinct smell of freshness of the trees and festivity. It is also a month of being with loved ones, relatives , friends and meeting new friends. I always have this beautiful memories of christmas-- christmas lights and decors on the streets, buildings and houses. I personally also make this time as my way showing my love and remembering those that are so dear to me -- that I personally take time to choose something special for them. Either in a form of a gift, a message or something that I know will make them smile and feel special.

However, this season also brings back nostalgia to me. There is a certain sadness that I feel as well during this time of the year. Everytime the clock strucks 12 midnight , where in the Philippines we would normally celebrate christmas eve. I would shed a tear or two. No one knows that- not even my husband or my family in general. I kept my silence and in one corner when I am alone.. I had that moment of sadness..nostalgia. For once, our family is not complete anymore. My dad is no longer there to celebrate the christmas with us. I remember how he would not forget to always give us a christmas card with his words of love when he was still alive and as well as seeing my mom with a certain sadness in her eyes, that I know she longed for Dad.

Cherished each moment with your parents..no matter how far they are..or no matter where they are.. love them with all your might. Continue telling them how much you are so thankful for having them. While you can and have the means, be with them.. have that precious time and moments with them.. cos there will be a time that as much as you wanted to say and show how much you love them.. its not possible anymore.

More so, other thoughst and feelings came in to me during those moments of nostalgia. Certain things that are too personal for me.

Anyhow, I look forward to Christmas this year again.. Seeing the smiles and hearing laughters of the additional blessings in our family.. :)

Unity on Disasters

A few weeks ago, four countries were affected with different disasters. Lives were lost , infrastructure were destroyed.

I was deployed to West Sumatra 40 hours after the earthquake to conduct a rapid assessment and further assist in the urgent needs and priorities of the victims. I have seen the great devastation of the earthquake and how different countries coordinated and collaborated to save lives of the people trapped in buildings and houses. Ashes, rubbles, sirens of ambulance,helicopters, rescuers ( and even canine rescuers!), militaries and aid workers are all over the place.

Other countries such as Vietnam and my beloved country was also strucked with a big disaster and I have seen all walks of life came in to help. I was wishing at that moment that I too can help my country but my calling that time was to be in Indonesia.

I learned that there are still a lot of people, organizations, communities, countries that still holds a heart of gold that are willing and there to help people in any form of distress. I pray and wish that this will be spread out to all of us.

Saying this, the assistance that was provided by everyone to these countries was an amazing example of unity of different countries, provinces, different culture, religion and having only one aim- save lives. I have witnessed this many times in several emergency response thatI have been assigned to. If only all of us are all like this, then the world is a better place to live in and there will always be peace amongst us. No more wars, chaos, fighting etc..I worry about our children's future, if we continue to be selfish, power hungry and all we care is our own needs then the future of our children will be at stake.

Let us open our eyes to save the world for our children's and next generations future..

Oil, Brush and Canvass

A few weeks back, I have posted here some of my paintings but I deleted it somehow. Dont ask me why but I felt part of me has revealed something there and I find it not appropriate now. If you happen to read that blog, I mentioned how I started to learn how to paint and I found it as a source of an outlet for me.

Over the time I was learning the art of painting, it was also a sort of discovering and processing myself through this. It is also a discovery of mediums ( oil or acrylic or a combination of both) of what I can use as well in my work. I realised that life and art work is so similar. Each day you find something to inspire you, each day your emotions can be a set of different colors or sometimes just plain basic ones. It has also brought about my current emotions and mind -- where each of my painting shows whats inside me. It is indeed a love affair between myself and the paint.

Here are my work, as I've said before, I am not an artist, not a painter and my work is not great, But I find it as a form of an expression and an outlet of my thoughts and emotions. I am sharing this to you cos I want to tell you that painting is a very good way of relaxing your mind, finding your inner creativity , self satisfaction and a good way to divert your mind.

The following series of paintings are posted in order of the time I made it. This was all done in the month of August and early September.

This was the very first oil painting I made, when I was working on this, I had a lot of different emotions. Its called " 3 Phases"

I call this " Nostalgia"- it reminds me of several flights Ive taken from home and how I felt whenever I was on the plane back here.

" Shades of Sadness and Resilience"



" Healing"

" Light of Hope"

" Flames of Passion"

This is the last piece I made a few days ago and I could not come up with a title. I am debating between " growth and hope" or " life"--Every painting has its own story and I want to keep it for myself for now but if you will ask me, I can tell you what it is..